Your Deepest Weakness is Revealed

I recently heard Pastor Craig Groeschel, who produces a leadership podcast and is the pastor of LifeChurch.tv, say, “The place where you issue your harshest judgments often reveals your deepest weakness.”

When I heard this, it felt like a dart straight to my heart.

This quote got me, and it stuck with me. I’m going to be very transparent about this. Because I thought about that quote, and asked myself, “Where am I highly critical?”

Being critical is a pride issue. And I can tell you, it’s a big problem for me. My ego gets in the way of many things, and it’s something I need to work on. I want to give it up, so that it’s not a barrier between me and relationships with fantastic people.

One of the areas where I’m a huge critic is with my family and their nutritional choices. I believe deep down that the choices they’re making are irresponsible. They food they eat, isn’t technically food. If you look at any food item that you’re purchasing, beneath the nutritional label is always the list of ingredients. If you’re buying whole, fresh food, there’s only one ingredient and you’re looking at it. But if you’re not buying fresh food, then you have to look at those ingredients! And if a lot of them are completely unknown to you or you can’t even pronounce them, that’s because it’s not real food! So we’re putting these things into our bodies, and I believe that it’s poisoning us a little bit at a time, over and over.

And I understand that struggle; it can be addicting. And some of you may know my personal story, some may not. But I have struggled with food addiction from the age of five, and this is where that stems from.

So my reaction to my family, and their choices, and the way I treat them is very critical, condescending, and shaming.

When I heard Groeschel’s quote, I immediately knew that this was my personal issue. Because when you physically point a finger at someone, you have one of your fingers facing their direction, but you have three other fingers pointed straight back at you. And I used to be a food addict. It was my issue first, and that’s why I’m so hard on my family.

And at times, I still struggle with relapses. I now say that I’m in remission from food addiction, but there are times when I relapse. That struggle is real for me, and the relationship I have with food is sometimes very unhealthy. It’s like being in love with someone who pretends to love you back, but always hurts you.

The same goes for food and me. Depending on the food choices I make, I think that it loves me and tastes and feels so good, but then I come down from the food high and realize that the negative effects from that were just awful. So I project my own issues with food onto my family and loved ones.

But really, you can’t change others. You can’t beat other people down and just expect them to have magic epiphany moments. You don’t have that kind of power. You won’t win anyone over that way. But loving them is one way to show them that in the midst of their struggles and choices that you may not agree with, you are still there to love them and be a resource for them. And after this realization, I posted this on Facebook: “As social media as my witness, I will no longer shame, torture, ridicule or condemn my family for the food choices they make.”

So my tip to you is to sit down and think about the places where you issue your harshest judgments, and what that reveals about places of weakness for you. Then take ownership, responsibility and accountability for those weak spots and work towards improving yourself and your relationships. Together, we will consistently grow and develop! 

People + Passion = Sales

Passion

I’m going to start with the passion piece of this equation. I think that we can relate a lot with this because-think about it--have you ever been to a hair show? I mean, put your hands up—yes, I’ve been to a hair show. 

And we’re watching these professionals on stage and what happens? We end up buying what they’re selling, we’re signing up for their classes, we’re following them on every social media platform. We are so fired up about them. Why?  What’s their secret?

I believe it’s because they’re fired up. That’s the passion. Passion is being excited about what you have to sell and what you have to offer. Excited about your services, trends…the more excited you are, the more passion you display, the more excited your clients will be. And their level of excitement will rise to meet yours. So friends, we’ve got to be passionate. You’ve got to believe in what you have to offer.  

So, are you sold, really?  If you’re not sold on your products or services, your clients won’t be either.  You are the ones that have the power to bring passion to the chair each day.  Let me say that again: You have the power to be passionate each day.  It’s a choice you make, regardless of what’s happening behind the scenes.  If you make this experience about them, which is the people part of sales, then you will bring the show alive and direct with the passion part of the sales. Then you will be wildly successful.  

Practice Makes Permanent

You’re not going to become this wildly, over-the-top, passionate person overnight.  You’re not going to just potentially have it already in you to put on a show and entertain the masses.  But passion can come in other ways.  You don’t have to just show the *crazy excitement*.  You can look people in their eyes and say, “This product was a game changer.”

Here’s an example: “Donna, if I’ve heard you correctly, you are struggling with dry hair. And I get it, it’s that time of year. The winter…especially here. We are in Wisconsin. The winters are brutal. It’s dry, it’s cold, it’s awful. I mean, why do we live here? Another topic for another day.

But, okay, so Donna, you know what? I’m going to have you leave with this conditioning mask today, and it’s going to be a game changer for you. I cannot tell you the amount of success I’ve personally had, but other clients who have said the same things, have had success with this as well.  But here’s what I’m going to need you to do. I’m going to need you to commit to using this at least twice a week.  Put this on twice a week. So think of a time, Donna, where you have about ten minutes to yourself. Is that in the morning? Maybe before bed? You can put this on, leave it sit for ten minutes put a cap on, just hang out, read a little, watch TV. Minimum of ten minutes, maximum of sixty—I mean, that’s cool too. And then you’re going to go and you’re going to rinse that out. You’re not going to wash, you’re not going to shampoo. You’re just going to rinse that out. And then here’s the next thing I need you to do Donna. I need you to blow dry your hair.”

“Why? Why not air dry? I thought that was healthier?”

“No, no, no. The technology of our blow dryers today…I mean this is not the same world we lived in when we were doing our hair back years and years ago.  The blow dryers are not going to damage your hair. What will be stripping the hair though is if you let water just sit and chill. Well, we can talk about the pH scale.”

“Well, what do you mean, Kati?”

“Well think about the pH scale. Your hair, skin and nails are 4.5 to 5.5 on the pH scale.  Well, where’s water? It’s at 7, it’s neutral. So even water is damaging to the hair. So we’ve got to get that water out. So, after the conditioner is rinsed, you’re going to--I know you already have this at home--this moisturizing oil. I’m going to have you put this in, right after you get out of the shower. You towel dry, you put this oil in, and I want you to put this in. So if that makes it easier for you to do this in the morning, that’s cool, but this is going to be the game plan. And I promise you, you are going to see results.”

Now, I’m not acting or saying those recommendations to Donna in a wild, crazy, on stage way.  But I’m bringing passion behind what I’m saying. Some of you who are very supportive personalities, who--maybe your face turns red a little when you have to speak in front of anybody in general. And I get it; I mean I can’t relate, but I have team members who would do anything to stay behind the scenes rather than be in front of people or be onstage. 

So, for you, you’re going to have to kind of go into the mindset of I’m going on stage right now. When you go behind the chair, you’ve got to be like Beyoncé. You’ve got to cultivate that Sasha Fierce. When Beyoncé steps on stage she becomes a completely different person. When you go behind the chair, I want you to cultivate your alter ego, and bring to the table almost like you’re acting a part. I mean for real, very introverted personalities—and these are often very logical, analytical people, so you’re great at your craft—produce phenomenal results, you produce precise results for your behind the chair work, whether it be coloring or cutting. 

But, you sometimes struggle to bring the creative imagination side of the brain to the table, because it’s just not naturally there. And that’s fine! I mean, there’s a place for everybody. But when you go behind the chair, my recommendation is that you pretend that you’re playing a role, this is your role in this play, you’re acting a part. And your passion doesn’t have to be unrealistic for your personality type. 

So maybe your passion is compassion. I will tell you that eye contact will be the biggest key. Put your hand on their shoulder and say, “Donna, this right here is the conditioner for you. I couldn’t back a product up better that will give you the result you’re looking for today.”

And remember, practice makes permanent. Practice makes permanent. When you’re implementing new behaviors, it’s not going to become a habit overnight. You must practice positive habits each day. An Aristotle quote, one of my favorite quotes is, “We all are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Eventually, you won’t be acting any more. When you practice this repeatedly, it will become a habit. It will become who you are behind the chair, and you will become very successful. Your clients will be as passionate is you are. Their level of excitement will come and rise to meet yours. Passion will bring you the sales you desire.

People

But without the people part of this, it won’t matter how passionate you are. What do I mean? You’ve gotta love on your people. You aren’t selling products and services, you’re selling to people. We sometimes forget because we’re all saying, “oh, here’s what this can do, and here’s what-what-what we do”, instead of “Why do the people you work with care to hear about this?”

I mean, the saying is true: “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care”

So, in my opinion, for most professionals in the beauty industry, this is actually a strength of ours. Because I believe most of us got into this industry because we love people. We want to help people, we want to bring out the best in people. We want to help people look and feel good.  So we’re already a step above.  I mean, we’re ready to go; we love people. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we do that we forget we need to give the proper attention to the person. Especially if you get to the point where you’re double, triple booked. Then it becomes managing your schedule and time and moving people around. 

But take a moment to say, “How’s your day going?”  I mean, just asking people.

So how do we care for our clients so much that we can create a trusting rapport with them? Hopefully, by getting to know them. Are you genuinely engaged? Do you know how your clients like to be talked to?

There are clients—and you know what I mean, right?—they’ll come in and you’re going to be like, “Heyyy girl, have a seat. Got this new trend for you, I know you’re going to love it, it’s on point. Girl, check this out.”  

And then you’re going to have other clients where you’re like, “Fabulous to see you today. Take a seat right here.” 

And you sit down face to face and you lean in and say, “Tell me, how is your family doing?”

And yes, these are completely different clients. But you’ve got to understand how you talk to your different clients in different ways. Do you understand your clients’ values? Some people are going to be into different things than others. Are you remembering these things? 

I mean, every salon software out there that I’m aware of, will have a little notes section that will potentially pop up for you and remind you of things.  (We’ll just stick with Donna.) “Donna was on vacation last month” or “Donna is heading to Florida on vacation.” So by the time she comes in next you can be like, “Donna! How was Florida? I missed you!” 

Here’s a question: What is the number one thing people want to talk about?

Themselves, yes!

So how do you become more engaged with your clients? How do you get to know them? 

You ask them questions. 

And there are some personal questions, and there are questions that lead to the end result of your appointment. So, a personal question—and this is going to help you professionally so just go with me, here—a personal question you can ask your clients is “Hey, what does your everyday life look like?”

People are going to be very excited to answer that. 

So you say, “What does your everyday life look like?”

And they’ll say, “Oh, I get up, I go to my workout, and I get home, eat breakfast, get the kids off to school…”

And then you can say, “Oh, let’s back up! So I’m assuming you’re going to shower after your workout; tell me, what are the top products for your shower?” Now that’s a lead-in to your professional conversation. So it’s a personal question, you’re getting to know them. And now the next time they come in, you can be like, “Hey, how are your workouts going?”

But that was also a discovery question that also led to: What’s your daily regime with your hair?

Another leading question like that is: Do you have the time that you’d like to have every day to style your hair or apply your makeup?

“You know, I wish I had more time, but honestly I have about twenty minutes that I can allot for both.”

“I hear that, Donna. Because now that I know you only have twenty minutes to work with, I have a couple of suggestions for you.”

Another question: If you had more time, what would you like to achieve?

“Well, if I had more time, I’d love to put in those curls where it looks like waves, not like beach waves, but kind of…”

And they show you a picture and the light bulb goes off—and you’re like aha! Those are flat iron waves. 

And now this is in the back of your mind: Now I’m going to show you the flat iron you need to be using, and I’m going to show you the proper product to put on your hair before you put the heat on. It’s not only going to protect your hair from the heat, it’s going to infuse protein into your hair, and it’s going to hold the curl.

Boom! Opportunity.

Another question: If you had no fear or hesitation, what would you love to try?

Now, stick with me on this. Because you don’t ask this like, “Oh, we’re going to do the whole world today, we’re going to take you from a level four to a level ten today.”

No, but it’s kind of cool to see whether this person is a risk taker, or if they’re kind of in their comfort zone. Once you know that, for future visits you can make a note that this client, Donna, likes to push the boundaries. 

That is so fun. Because you know, you can do a little change to their look—add bangs—and it changes the whole thing. You can place foils in a certain way to completely change the look of their style. You add a few highlights on top, it’s going to instantly seem like there’s more lift, more volume at the top of the crown. So that’s so cool to find out.

Then there are products and services questions, for example: What are your products not doing for you that you wish they would?

Especially maybe with new guests. They come in and you ask, “What are your products not doing for you that you wish they would?”

And they say, “Well I really like how soft my hair is, but I’m struggling with volume. I feel like my hair is lifeless.”

You look and they have blonde, Norwegian, thin hair. And you’re like, “well, you probably shouldn’t be using that product…”

But you don’t say that! Instead you say, “Oh, well I have a really awesome idea I’m going to work with you on today, and you’re going to be blown away at how much volume you can have with your hair, and not compromise the softness, the moisture, the integrity of your hair.”

Another question: On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your current product or this product?

And if they say, “Well, maybe a 6…” this is your follow-up question: “What would need to happen to make it a 10?”

And she says, “Well, I love the softness, but to make it a 10 I need to have volume.”

So now you’re coming up with your game plan. You’re genuinely engaged. This is a give and take. Being great at sales, building trust so people will buy from you…it starts with the person. Getting to know them, and not just getting to know them to be their friend.

You know, when I’m hiring new stylists and I say, “Why would a client want to work with you?”

And they say, “Well I believe I can get along great with people, and I have a really great personality and I like to make people happy…”

I’m thinking in the back of my mind, “Yeah, you and every other stylist out there!”

Friends, this is why we’re going to talk about your unique selling proposition. What makes you truly unique?

Because unless you’re a complete A-hole, people are going to genuinely feel like most hair stylists are nice people. So that’s not doing it. With your client it’s not “let’s be best friends time”. With your client there is a way to maintain your professionalism and the fact that you are in a sales position, and still care deeply for people. Your goal is to be their professional.

And are you friendly? Do you care so much for them? Yes. But you’re their professional first. 

That is, if your goal is to make the earnings you’re worth. You know, I had talked before that the average stylist in America makes $30,000 a year. Across the nation, the average income for a hair professional…$30,000 a year. 

Are you okay with that? I’m not! I don’t want that for the stylists that work for me. I don’t want this to be their job for a little while, that’s fun. I want hair professionals to feel that this is a long-term career, that they can retire from this career, and feel comfortable.

And so, I’m just not willing to settle for the average. And just remember, friends, average is best of the worst or worst of the best. Can I get an Amen? 

I want us to be the exception.

People + Passion = Sales

So sales is about people plus passion.  Here’s the sales process: People have to know you. They’ve got to know that you exist. (Oh, I’ve heard of that salon, I’ve heard of that professional)

And then, they have to like you. We’re going to get into this a little bit further, because that’s all about authenticity. Then, they’ve got to trust you. I believe trust is built when you have the opportunity to sit down and get to know them, ask questions (the right questions) and come up with solutions.

Once, they trust you, then they’ll buy from you. You know, it’s hard to say, “Oh, I’m a sales position when I’m in the service industry.”

Friends, if you don’t make sales, you don’t make money. You are in sales. We just talked about discounts and how they complete devalue what you have to offer. Please, consider charging what you’re worth. You will attract the clients that believe the same things you do. Their values will match your values. There’s plenty of people to go around. This is not a world of scarcity. We live in America. This is a world of abundance. There’s plenty to go around.

Don’t fear the unnecessary. Instead, focus on your potential. And remember, practice makes permanent. This won’t come overnight, but today is the day that you can implement a new mindset that will result in new behaviors, that will result in new habits. And eventually, a year from now, you will a completely different professional than you are today. 

I believe you deserve it. 

Practice Makes Permanent

Perfect Isn't Real

Practice makes permanent. Don’t screw yourself out of reaching your potential. You know, we’ve heard forever: practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect. No, because perfect isn’t real. There is no perfection. There’s progress. There’s reaching for better. But the decisions you make every day to either give it your all, hone in on trying to be as precise as possible, doing your very best; that becomes the type of mentality you have, the type of professional you are. Practice is going to make permanent. 

Don't Skip Steps

If you skip steps because you typically run behind or you’re busy or you think, oh, it’s unnecessary, then you’re going to produce results where steps are skipped.

Let me give you an example. When I was younger, I had piano lessons from a genius professor. I don’t even know what it’s called, and I’ll tell you why in a minute. But he made his own music. He was unbelievable. When I showed up for lessons I’d play the song my own way, you know, with my own twist. Which nowadays, if you were on any of the talent shows—like The Voice, and I know this year’s the last year for American Idol—they’re typically like, “Redo that song in your own way.” Well, I was like, “You don’t have to ask me twice. All of my songs are done in my own way.”

And I remember him—his name was Dr. Kushman—and he said, “Kati, once you learn to play this the way it’s written, then you may go and play it anyway you want.” What I thought he didn’t know, but he really knew, is that I wasn’t disciplining myself. I struggled with following the rules. And I didn’t practice faithfully the way I should have. Like most people who have ever played the piano, I can sit down and play a little bit of Fur Elise by Beethoven, and maybe a couple of other things. But it was two years of trying to be a pianist and because I was not committed to practicing as best I could and bringing my A-game every time, what permanently stuck was mediocrity. I didn’t produce great results, and it never led to anything. I never really committed to honing in on the craft. I wasn’t any good and I gave it up.

Practice Makes Permanent

So here’s an example on the flip side: Practice makes permanent. I remember showing up for a work out one day. And I’m a little bit egotistical. I really pride myself—you know, if I can’t be the fittest, the skinniest, then I’m going to be the strongest, the most bad ass. And I remember showing up to one of my workouts and there was this petite, really pretty girl who came with her amazing outfit, and she was a boss. She was lifting heavy, going fast. And I was like “Oh hell no. Okay, I’m not going to let this happen.” So it was Christmas Eve, and I put on all this weight to do a dead lift. Even the coach looked at me and was like, “Oh, that’s a lot.” I think it was like 230 pounds. And he said, “You know that’s 230 pounds?” And I said, “Yeah, I know, I got it, okay?”

And no…I didn’t. The second time around in the circuit we were on, I pulled up and—pop—something in my upper butt cheek snapped. And I set it down and I looked at him, and tears were coming up in my eyes, and I was like, “…I have to go, I have to go now.”

Luckily I called my chiropractor and they were willing to see me on Christmas Eve. So I went in, and I had a herniated disc. Long story short, this was probably a little bit of a tear in my upper buttocks/lower back. So, that was really stupid. And I probably could have been like, “I’m going to give up, because that’s embarrassing and I made myself look like a huge A-hole.” But instead, I decided: I really want to get good at lifting properly. So I scaled it way back, I took my time, and two years later, my deadlift max is 245 pounds. 

And I feel like obviously that’s not perfect, it’s not the best it could ever be. But it’s a hell of an improvement and I do it safely. Why? Because practice makes permanent, and I took the time to scale back and do things step by step.

Reach Your Full Potential

I think sometimes as beauty professionals—especially if you’re fresh out of school—you want to be a Master level right off the bat. You don’t want to be level one! You are in school and you’re subjected to that level and you come into a working environment and you want to get on the floor right away, you want to get after it. I totally get it. I was that same person, no surprise. 

But there’s something to be said for taking your time. Now, luckily, I had skills beyond the technique that brought me significant success, even fresh out of school. And I’m going to get into those in topics to come. But I dove into as much education as possible, because all of the sudden I realized…I am around fantastic professionals. These hairstylists, barbers, they’re doing work at whole other level. And instead of basically faking it until I made it, there are instances where that can happen, but also instances where you need to take a step back and say, what do I need to do to get from here to there?

And friends, do not skip steps. Because if you do, you are screwing yourself out of reaching your full potential.

So let’s end it with this: practice makes permanent. 

 

Is Comparison a Good Thing?

The answer may surprise you.

Unhealthy Comparisons

We are constantly told to avoid comparison. Theodore Roosevelt even has the famous quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”.

I believe this is healthy advice when it comes to one’s surface aesthetics. Meaning, it’s not going to serve you if you compare your clothes to your neighbor’s clothes. And you’re not doing yourself any favors to compare your shoes, your purse, your makeup to those of your colleague’s. Or comparing your car to the one next to yours when you pull up into your parking space at work. Those are all surface aesthetics, the outside appearances. In my opinion, completely unnecessary. In these instances, comparison is the thief of joy, because there will always be someone with bigger or better.

Beneficial Comparisons

However-- Comparison can also serve as a tremendous benefit for achieving success. You may have always wanted to start your own business, or land the biggest sale, deal or agreement of your career, but you’ve noticed there are a lot of similar businesses already out there, or there are huge successes already in that area that you’re working on.

Instead of giving up or feeling defeated, you can use those as fuel to motivate your goals. Meaning: comparison can be used as proof that you can do it too.

Examine Your Mindset

Are you comparing your personal success to someone else’s and therefore setting restrictions on yourself? For example, “Oh, they’ve already reached that, so there’s no way I could also.”

That’s the challenge I have for you today: stop allowing those kind of thoughts to enter your mind. But rather, if you compare and think, “Wow, they just landed that huge sale” or “Look, that person just opened that new business”, turn that kind of comparison into, “That means I could do it too.”

My Final Challenge to You

If you have a dream, my challenge for you is to take a look at those who have achieved similar success.

Then start comparing yourself. What are they doing (or what did they do) that you can do too?

To summarize, it really comes down to your mindset. Do you have the mindset of abundance or scarcity? If you look around, I believe you’ll see that the possibilities are endless. Companies like Uber, for example, are redefining what is possible. They didn’t say, “We can’t do that, that’s not possible.” They said, “There has to be a better way”.

So if you see that others have done it already, or others have achieved success, use comparison as proof to fuel your success. You can do it too!    

Identify Your Purpose

It has been many years in the making for me to really feel like I can identify my life’s purpose. I feel like many of us find ourselves in a hamster wheel, just doing the same things every day, on and on and on. And then there’s this lack of fulfillment inside of us.

Recently, I came across some advanced education, and I heard some very profound questions that really impressed me. I sat down and wrote out the answers to these questions, and it brought such clarity to me. So I want to offer them to you today. I hope that they’ll help you find clarity as well.

What brings you energy?

What is it that energizes you?

Think about that. You do a lot of things every day and have a lot of commitments. And some of those things will drain you! And you might start to think, “Well I slept great last night, but after doing this for twenty minutes, I feel like I’ve been here for five hours!”

And part of this is realizing what you need to give up. But, we’re going to focus on identifying your purpose; what gives you energy?

For me, it’s people! Being a part of an event with people, leading people. Music—singing and dancing—also brings me energy. Fitness gives me a ton of energy. Education—when I’m learning or teaching—also brings me energy. When I’m organizing or planning new projects, I have a ton of energy.

So, take some time to think about it, and discover what that is for you. 

What is important to you?

Relationships are huge for me. My personal relationships with Jesus Christ, family, employees, colleagues, friends, my husband, my church. Health and fitness is also important to me; building muscle strength, clean eating, flexibility, dancing. I also believe that having a flexible lifestyle is important to me. It gives me the opportunity to meet new people, attend educational events, and travel.

What else is important to you?

What tasks, activities and environments are you 100% present for?

What activities or tasks that you’re doing are you 100% present for? Once you take a few minutes to brainstorm some of those, I believe that you, like me, will find some common ground. You’re going to start noticing that on each of these lists, there are a lot of similarities.

I’m also going to throw one more question in as a bonus.

What do people reach out to you for?

For me, it’s a lot of business advice, or people asking, “How would you handle this situation?”

What is that for you? Maybe you haven’t been paying attention to that, but when people start reaching out to you, consider jotting it down. And over the course of the next month or two you’re going to start to see some similarities.

Here’s one last neat thing to think about: I believe that I’m made up by these specific talents and gifts, and I ask myself: How can I take who I am and serve the world?

Is it time for you to ask yourself the same thing? Is it time you identify your purpose? 

An Epic Fail Should Fuel Your Next Victory

It pains me to reflect on Ronda Rousey's first ever knockout. I literally felt nauseous as I watched Holly Holm have her way with her.  I have never in my life felt that dedicated to an athlete or person of celebrity status.  When I was first introduced to this woman, I had an instant girl crush!  I actually wanted to be her!  And again, that has never happened to me before.  My biggest takeaway from Ronda's many mantras is that even on our worst day ever, we still need to be better than second best.  And for the first time in her career, she wasn't better than second best.  This was her epic fail and now the whole world is watching.  

Too Comfortable Too Soon?

Within the last year, fame has hit Ronda hard and fast.  She is in the spotlight and can send any message she desires.  She is very comfortable speaking her mind and has been controversial with this freedom.  One of her messages is #DNB. Ronda conveys she is not a "do nothing bitch".  In this message she encourages girls to go after goals that don't include "sucking di#% to become famous...needless to say she's turned many heads and people are paying attention. In her defense, she had a good point which is to take positive action with your life :)  But had she gotten too comfortable with her shock-value approach?  Did she get too proud, too loud, too soon? 

I cannot and will not be the judge if I think she deserved to lose or if the hype about her wasn't all it was cracked up to be...but what I WILL judge is what decision she'll make following her fall and how will she use her fail to fuel her next victory?  In my opinion it is right now that Ronda has an opportunity of a lifetime.  She has the opportunity to produce an honorable legacy! 

Your Fail Is Your Fuel

As I wait eagerly for Ronda's ROCKY IV revival, I think about what we can learn from this. We've all had fails in life.  These fails mold us, develop us, and humble us.  We can choose to lose hope. We could choose to hide away and pray that nobody remembers how awful our fail was.  We could allow our embarrassment and shame to take over and limit us.  We could be a #DNB!   OR...we could stop feeling sorry for ourselves and choose to get up and take action!  Friends, do not let the devil bring you down!  Take one day to reflect, express and recover.  Then get up and GET AFTER IT.  

Be Grateful!

If you never experienced failure, you'd never really understand how phenomenal victory feels. If you never had obstacles to overcome or hurdles to jump, you'd never fully appreciate when you achieved a victory.  It's our failures that really call us to the best chapters of our lives and our biggest opportunities.  What will you decide to do when your time comes? 

I choose to be grateful for the opportunity for development. I never want to feel stuck.  Staying the same is not an option. I pray that I remember this when I'm slapped with defeat. It's not easy and it's not fun, but it's worth the fight!  

Ask & Receive More Referrals!

Industry friends and those alike.  Have you heard the saying, ask and you shall receive?   It IS that simple!  Ask for referrals to gain more referrals! 

In topics to come I'll piggyback this simple strategy with ways to implement a referral program, but the starting point to gaining more referrals really is this simple.  

First Step!  Sit down for five minutes and make a list of your TOP 10 clients.  After you've created your TOP 10 list, you have choices on how you'd like to communicate your referral request.  You could call them, text them, message them through Facebook or LinkedIn of course ;)  You could email them or send them a letter in the mail.  However your method, I'd recommend the verbiage to be short and sweet.

EXAMPLE: Dear friend!  I want to thank you for being an amazing client. I'm reaching out to you today because I'm looking to grow my business and I'd like more people like you in my life.   If you could refer me the person in your life who is most like you, I'd be so appreciative!   The best way for your referral/friend/colleague to connect with me is online/phone/email.  Thank you so much! Your advocacy is so important to my success.  Cheers! 

You SHOULD absolutely rewrite this to fit your audience.  Use verbiage that fits WHO you're writing to.  If your best client is in college, communicate their way.  (This is a whole other topic...stay tuned...) 

TIPS ON THE ASK:

1. Use their name in the conversation

2. Thank them for their patronage & continued support

3. Ask them for the referral. In fact, if you KNOW they're close with a potential client you'd love to work with, you could specifically ask they refer that person to you!

4. Give them a call to action. Meaning, they have a way to send their referral to you.

5. Thank them again! 

Finally, upon receipt of a new referral, DO NOT forget to follow up with a THANK YOU to your referral source.  This reinforces your client's action of sending you a referral and encourages them to continue to do so! 

 

Motivation Is A Choice, Not A Feeling

"I just don't feel like it." We've all heard this, we've all said this or have felt this way at one time or another.  But our feelings may need to be ignored if we want to accomplish our goals. 

New Mindset

We must think about motivation differently if what we say we want is actually what we truly desire.  An example is weight loss. Now that the new year has started, many of us are super motivated to change our physique. Bodybuilding.com shared a study that finds 73% of people who set fitness goals as a new year's resolution will give them up. 

When we feel unmotivated we must tell ourselves it's NOT AN OPTION. If you make the decision to increase your profit margin by 5% then the actions necessary to reach this goal are not options, they're scheduled commitments. 

Get Fired Up!

Start each day on purpose. If you worked at a coffee shop and you were opening the store tomorrow, you'd have step by step procedures to make sure everything was ready to go by the time the first customer walked in. We must also treat our personal lives the same by having a consistent process for each day.

Depending on your goal, you may begin your day listening to a sales podcast. If your goal is improving the performance of your team, you may start your day with reading a chapter in a leadership book. If you're like me, you feel very motivated when the right music is on. For some, it's going to yoga to meditate and set your daily intention. The point isn't what you do, it's doing what works for you consistently. 

Just Show Up

Overthinking will kill your joy and waste the time you could've had focusing on achieving your goal and/or accomplishing your tasks. If you're a writer, you may not feel like writing today and on all accounts you're not motivated. But you sit down, you show up and you start to type.  

If you're goal is to improve your physique but today you're swamped, you had an unexpected call to deal with and you're sore from yesterday’s workout, you may start to think that it will be okay to skip today's workout commitment. This is THE moment you become one of the 27% who start a new fitness goal and it becomes a part of your everyday life. Why? Because you ignore the manipulative self-talk and instead you just show up. I believe in hindsight you will say, "I'm so glad I came." 

Accountability

Accountability partners are powerful resources. Personally, I thrive by having to check in with my accountability partners. And I want you to know I have multiple partners for multiple areas of life. I have a fitness coach, a business coach, a financial adviser and a spiritual mentor. When I'm talking to them I'm confronted with a.) how much progress I've made and b.) what obstacles I need to overcome.

And I never want to sound like a child who's asking their parent permission to not have to clean their room. Maybe it's my pride but I believe if you make another person or group of people (social media) aware of what you're working towards, it's unlikely that you fall of the wagon. At least I believe it's much less likely to fall too far for too long.

Recap

Friends, keep the finish line in front of you at all times. Choose to ignore feelings that don't bring you closer to your mission. Get your ass fired up each and every day. Just show up and focus on action. And finally, find someone who has your back to keep you accountable for your life and its direction.